this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
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