come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
