you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
