Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Randomize
