no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
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