im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
