Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
