I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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