69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
My balls are so social today.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
