but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
