i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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