i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
