Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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