I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
