Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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