you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
