Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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