TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
