LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
