so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
