He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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