heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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