She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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