Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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