this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
