i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
