Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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