Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Randomize
