Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
