My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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