I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
two words: eviction party
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize