Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
