I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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