I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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