gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
