And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
