took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
