i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize