Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
