so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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