my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
