it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
