Jerry, you need to find god
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I need mimosas to revive my soul
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
