I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
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