I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
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I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
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Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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