I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
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he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
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There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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