in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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