I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
