Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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