people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
