Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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