I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
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I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
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People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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