It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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