I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
