i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
