I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
