There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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