i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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