I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
