okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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