..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
