So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
